Larger than expected…

Spending a large part of yesterday at an ultrasound clinic, alone and in a mask, with long waits, repeated hand sanitizer stations, temperature checks, and over an hour on a cold metal table was all worth it… To see your heart beat, each beautiful chamber, to know your main internal organs all have made their appearances, and to see you “move more than normal”… was such a beautiful reassurance.

As we consider home birth more seriously, it is not something I take without consideration of caution. While things are not ever fully in our control, I take the choice of the healthiest delivery with the upmost importance. That delivery is a journey for both of us, and one that I am preparing for each day.

There are so many communities within the birthing community, from the more radical free birth society that I have the upmost respect for, to the designer delivery that I can’t personally relate with, but I still respect… I know my decision to potentially hire a midwife and choose to attempt to avoid a hospital delivery, is not without risk. Isn’t that the beauty of life though, a series of calculated risks? Some we take every time we dine out, get behind the wheel, or even when we lace up our running shoes. Others come in the process of a cross country move, a new career endeavor, or in the choice of commitment to a relationship.

Knowing you are healthy, “larger than expected”, and seeing your heart function so cleanly was such a beautiful sight. So now we ponder Cosmo my love, what path shall we take for the beginnings of your time here outside of me?

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